Clean Up Day

Today was the day to start packing up and organizing my life/room/clothes for going back to school.

I leave to move back to my life in Corvallis this coming Sunday, and after an entire summer of living in my room and accumulating junk, it was clean up time.

After collecting some new clothing items, and making some new decisions about my attitude toward this thing we call life (more to come on that subject), I started geeking out about it.

When I say geeking out, I mean Geeking out....

I'm talking about organizing my clothing into categories (based on what type of item they were--pants, skirts, shirts, blouses, etc.) and of course making them color coordinated (yes, based on the colors of the rainbow)

 --Examples below--

 I think I may have some sort of illness....
but I will say I enjoyed it :)

Anyway, while I was packing up and re-organizing all of my things, I realized that this will be the last time I do this. I will never again be packing up my necessities and going to school in the Fall...
This is quite a surreal thought for me, but alas, tis a true fact.

Well, as you can imagine, this put me in a rather sentimental mood, and so I decided to display just a couple of my memories from the last three college years.

Please enjoy these treasures.

I'm certainly looking forward to whatever this next year has in store. I'm sure there will be many, many more memorable moments to come :)

A Glorious Adventure

Today, as I met with the Lord during my morning devotions, I was blown away by today's Jesus Calling. Here's what I read:

"Living in Dependence on Me is a glorious adventure. 

Most people scurry around busily, trying to accomplish things through their own strength and ability. Some succeed enormously; others fail miserably. But both groups miss what life is meant to be: 

Living and working in collaboration with Me.

When you depend on Me continually, your whole perspective changes. You see miracles happening all around, while others see only natural occurrences and "coincidences."

You begin each day with joyful expectation, watching to see what I will do. 

You accept weakness as a gift from Me, knowing that My Power plugs in most readily to consecrated weakness.
You keep your plans tentative, knowing that My plans are far superior. 

You consciously live, move, and have your being in Me, desiring that I live in you.
I in you, and you in Me.

This is the intimate adventure I offer you."

After reading this, I felt convicted and comforted at the same time.

I am a person who likes to plan my life. I greatly enjoy looking forward to what's ahead, and laying my plans out to be the way I want them.

Are you seeing why I felt convicted?

So, as I read through these thought provoking words for a second and third time, I realized something pretty cool. This message wasn't to make me feel bad about making plans and hoping for what's ahead in the future, but more, it was to encourage me to lay those plans at the feet of Jesus.

As I admit to my weaknesses and my hypothetical near-sightedness, and as I invite the Lord into my plans more and more, He is going to use my weaknesses for His glory.
In the world we live in today, we are taught to hide our weaknesses and focus on displaying our strengths. In the plans of Jesus, we are to "neon-sign' display our weaknesses to the world so that He can miraculously display His glory through us.

That's the part that's comforting. We don't have to hide our weaknesses. We don't have to rely only on our strength (never a good plan).
As I learn to rely on the Lord more and more, I realize that He wants to come through for me, and as I trust and expect him to come through---He does.

Here's what the apostle Paul has to say on the subject:
"But the Lord said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Comforted?
I know I am.

Today was a Good Day

Two posts in the same week! Look at me go :)

Today was a good day.

Let me tell you why.

1. I got to sleep in

(Always a blessing for me)

2. I made french press this morning

(Rocked my world.)

3. I had the house to myself for my devotions

(Nice and quiet, not to mention I got to use my new Bible)

4. I went to the Farmer's Market with my Dad

(Fresh Peaches. Need I say more? yummmm....)

5. I got to be a hair model for my wonderful friend's portfolio

(So Fun.)

For that last part of my day, I not only got to get all dolled up, but I got to spend many hours with some of my best friends. While spending all that time with my beautiful friends (yes, they are all actually quite beautiful), I realized how blessed I am to have them in my life.

I know they're always there for me, and that I can truly be myself when I'm with them. They love me for who I am, and despite my many faults they are still my friends (what patient and loyal friends I have).

Anyway, all I can say is that the Lord has truly provided for me through my friends. They encourage me, get excited for me, pray for me (all that jazz).

And guys, let me tell ya, He desires that for you too.

And so do I.

I encourage all of you not to settle for friendships where you can't be yourself, where you aren't encouraged, where you feel undervalued.

It's not worth it....trust me.

Instead, bring it to the Lord. He is faithful to provide for those who love Him. He will send friends to encourage you and point you back to the Ultimate Friend found only in Jesus.

Friend, you are worthy of more than just conditional acquaintances.

Don't settle for less.

I hope your day was as good as mine!

Happy Weekend! :)

Post One of Summer

So, my goal to blog more often this summer has obviously not come to fruition. However, I am determined to not give up on this project.

Anyway, as the summer is coming to a close, the Lord has been showing me some pretty awesome things about my life. For example, I have a wonderful supportive family. The summer is always a great opportunity for me to spend more time with my family. It's during all the increased family bonding time that I begin to truly realize how blessed I am.

Before summer began, my mom approached me with the idea that it might be fun to do a Women's Bible Study. I took that idea and ran with it. I picked out a book, started talking to friends and family about it, and overall got extremely excited about the idea. Once I started working again this summer, I knew that we just needed to get this Bible Study started if we were really gonna do it. At first, I was a little disappointed because the number of the group ended up being only three people total. 

At week one of Bible Study, it was just my mom, my sister-in-law Brie, and myself. As I said, the number was a little disappointing. However, it is amazing how the Lord orchestrates the things in your life to be exactly what they are meant to be. This little group of woman ended up being one of the largest blessings I had all summer. It not only helped me grow in the Lord, it also helped all three of us to grow in trust and love for one another. The Lord has truly been moving in it. 

Ultimately, I'm sharing this because I've been learning that things rarely happen the way we expect them to. Thankfully, that is the case because the Lord has a greater, more meaningful plan in store than what we can imagine with our little brains.

As I start thinking of returning to school, I'm both encouraged and excited by the idea that the Lord has more in store for me than I can ever ask for, or imagine. 

May you be as encouraged by that thought as I was, and take a step of faith to trust that the Lord's got you covered.

I mean, if He doesn't, who really does?

My life...as of late

I live!

Sorry for neglecting you, my dear blog, but it's been a little crazy up here in my life.

The quick and dirty of my life recently has been that I have been burning my candle on both ends.

I've been feeling a little like this:

This is an experience I have quite often, actually. Living in a house with 50 girls and always being available for watching a movie, talking, eating, midnight Winco runs (I heart Winco bulk section), or you name it, doesn't exactly provide a consistent everyday schedule that allows for restful life.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life.

I'm truly and fantastically enjoying every moment of this time of my life while at college. 

However, more recently, as you have probably deduced from my lack of blog posts, the candle I had been burning has suddenly vanished. All the sudden, I realized my candle has been completely burned up! I'm running purely on fumes, and weariness overcame me.

Sometime during this past Winter term, I began to develop a spirit of heaviness. I felt weary to my core and deep into my bones. My joy seemed to diminish. My liveliness vanished. Exhaustion enveloped me.

All of this came from a burden I picked up during this past term, and I refused to give entirely to the Lord. I kept walking the path of my life, and rather than letting Jesus carry me and take my burden, 

I just kept saying, 

"No, Lord. It's okay. I got this one."

As my beloved Savior was watching my steps become smaller and smaller, and my heart get heavier and heavier, He just kept whispering to me,

"You're weary Beloved, 

You don't need to carry that.

That burden isn't yours.

I already carried it for you.

Let my Love fill you again.

Let my Joy return to your heart.

Let my Peace reside in your life."

Finally, after months and months of weariness, and not listening, I heard the Lord speak to me.

He finally reached me through a beautiful devotional, Jesus Calling. The day was May 12---(read it if you can). What struck me most was this passage:

"Many of My precious children have fallen prey to burnout. A better description of their condition might be 'drainout.' Countless interactions with needy people have drained them, without their conscious awareness. you are among these weary ones, who are like wounded soldiers needing R&R. Take time to rest in the Love-Light of My Presence. I will gradually restore to you the energy that you have lost over the years."

This is EXACTLY how I was feeling. It was scary how 'right on' it was. I was weary, and I had had no idea for three months.

After recognizing this, I began by handing over (or attempting to hand over) this burden to Jesus. 

As soon as I began asking for help, He began to deliver!

Amazing is our Great Redeemer Jesus Christ!

Over this past week, my joy and energy have begun to return, and when I'm exhausted, I know it is only physically, because the Lord has taken my emotional and spiritual burden away from me.

My candle is still being burned at both ends, but now, the Lord is restoring my candle each and every day because I have begun asking Him to.  ("Ask and you shall receive"--amazing and TRUE!)

As I am refreshed anew each day, my candle is burning brighter, but it is not being consumed because I'm allowing Jesus to be my strength.

So those of you feeling weary, burdened, and completely drained out, hand your burdens over to Jesus. 

He's the only One who can take them.

It's hard to do, but it's worth it.

It's Only Tuesday...

So, this week has been a hard one....

and guess what. 

It's only Tuesday.

Every time I feel like I'm actually starting to figure out a bit of my future, 

God changes it up.

Yesterday, I was given the privilege of being asked by the Lord to trust Him even MORE than I do 

(or, at least, I think I do). 

He doesn't like for me to try and plan my life, or even assume my life is going in a certain direction, because that's when I begin to believe I can handle things on my own rather than trust He is going to come through.

You would think I would have learned by now...

 

He wants me to hand over my life and give Him the opportunity to truly let Him guide, love, nourish, treasure, and bless me. He wants me to wait on Him so that I can rest in His peace.

This is much easier said than done.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was in the middle of dealing with my latest emotional blow, I cried out to God,  "Lord, why? You know I didn't expect this! You never told me this would happen! Why me?!"

His response to me was a simple one.

"I've given you strength for this. I'm holding you. Lean on Me."

Well, that made the flood gates open. As if I hadn't been crying already!

[Side Note: If I haven't let you guys in on the secret yet, I figure now is as good a time as any...

I am a crier. I cry almost everyday. I cry at movies. I cry at TV shows. I cry at books. I cry when I laugh too hard (this occurs quite often). I cry when I feel hurt. I cry when my friends feel hurt. I cry when I pray. I cry when I'm being prayed for.]

Essentially, I cry.

But let's get back to the point. 

The Lord is faithful to bring us through the hard things we go through in life. He is the Great Comforter. He doesn't like to see us hurting, but sometimes, for His will to be done, a little bit of breaking is necessary.

I think of it like this...

When someone breaks a bone, they rush to the hospital and get a cast. This cast helps the bone heal correctly so that the limb can be used effectively after the cast comes off.

Now, if someone breaks a bone and they are not able to get to a hospital quickly, sometimes the bone begins to heal before it can be "casted."

After healing this bone will probably still be functional. It can still be used, but that limb will not be functioning the way it is meant to. It won't be able to do everything it could prior to the break.

But there is a solution to this problem. When this person with the broken bone finally makes it into the hospital, rather than settling for a limb that may not work properly or efficiently for the rest of their lives, they can have the doctors re-set or re-break the bone.

This process is painful. It causes hurt. But the doctors do it for the betterment of their patient. 

After the initial pain, the patient will get their cast, and be able to rest and recover knowing they will be ok.

They will not be broken forever.

Well, let's just say, my "bone," was re-broken yesterday. Now I need to allow the Lord take over and reset me.  I can trust that He will not let me remain broken forever. He has marvelous plans and great healing in store for me. 

I must rest in that.

Today, the Lord guided me to a passage of great encouragement. It's found in Psalm 40 verses 1-3:

I waited patiently for the Lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their

trust in the Lord.

Don't lose heart. The Lord is going to take care of you and I. 

He has great things in store for us.

Frustrations, Finals, Hunger Games, Spring Break

By the title of this post, I'm hoping all of you have gathered that I'm a Ms. Scatterbrains at the moment.

Within the last week, I have been under terrible stress, been studying and taking final exams, going to a midnight premiere of a little known movie called the Hunger Games, and have packed and come home for Spring Break.

Looking back at my week, it's hard to imagine I have done as many things as I have. 

--I have been a busy girl--

Thankfully, the Lord has been very faithful to get me through it. Not only did He help me get through finals alive, but He helped me successfully navigate my exams--even when my mind was very much preoccupied.

Thank you Jesus!

As I have been back at home, it has been such a blessing to be around my family and friends. Since going off to college, I have gathered a new and profound appreciation for my family. 

I could not be more blessed.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have always been thankful for my family, but there is something about leaving home that makes the recognition of that blessing much more potent and real. 

For those of you who have family members that you are precious to you, and you know that they will always be there for to support you----go give them a hug or call them right now, and tell them how much you appreciate them.

Never take the blessing they are for granted.

For those of  you who cannot say that about your family, I encourage you with this:

The Lord is reaching out to you. He wants to cradle you in His arms. He wants to be that love, that family for you--

Trust me, He has enough love to fulfill all of your needs forever. 

Allow Him to envelope you with His love and faithfulness, and allow yourself to take part in His never departing joy. 

All of our family and friends will fail us at some point, and it is wrong for us to try and push them into a Role that they were never met to fill.

Only God can truly satisfy all of our needs. 

He is willing to do this. 

He desires to do this for us.

Take a first step of trust.

Let God fill the hole He made for Himself to fill in your life...

I promise....You will NEVER regret it.

Happy Spring Breaking!

Go See The Hunger Games (trailer below)

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1187553561/

You have Strength Enough for this...

So today was certainly a day for accomplishments...

Well, really it's more a day of one BIG accomplishment.

Today, I conquered the Shamrock run in downtown Portland.

For those of you who do not know, the Shamrock run has three races that are happening, simultaneously. The options are a 5K, 8K, or 15K. 

Guess which one I ran....

the 15K!!!

(That's a total of 9.3 miles....)

Never in my life would I have thought I would accomplish (let alone attempt) a feat such as this. But today I ventured the impossible, and by the Lord's grace, I crossed the finish line victorious.

This experience has forever change my life, and this is why...

Several months ago, some of the beautiful women I live with came up with the idea that our house should get a team of girls together to participate in the Shamrock Run. This was my initial reaction:

"That's such a great idea! I know this will be a wonderful way to get some of the girls involved. I should encourage anyone who is interested to participate."

Little did I know, the Lord had other plans for me with this run other than just encouraging the other women. he wanted me to run it too. As I began to think about this overwhelming possibility, I thought to myself, "well, I could probably run the 5K, and if I feel like I really want to push myself, I could run the 8K....that should be good, right?"

Wrong.

The Lord began putting this race on my heart. He began giving me motivation and interest to challenge myself. At first I was hesitant. I started to talk back to God with things like, "But Lord, you didn't make me a runner." and "9 miles! God, you know I could never run THAT far!" And you know what His response was?

"Holly, I made your body. I formed your talents and skills. In your strengths, you must practice giving glory to Me, and in your weaknesses you must believe I am able to show My glory through that. You can do all things through My Son, Jesus, who strengthens you. If you want to be a runner, have faith, and I can help you become one. Step out onto the sea of uncertainty with faith, and allow Me to show you what you are capable to do with My strength."

That is a lot to swallow. But I obeyed (for once), and signed up for the 15K.

After that, there was no turning back.

Did I mention this run took place primarily on the Terwilliger Curves?
Yeah, I thought not.

The training was difficult at times, but the Lord was truly faithful to cover me in those days that were so hard and when I was unmotivated. 

As I continued training, I came to the realization that God made me a runner, not because I was naturally good at it, but because running is something that requires me to fully rely on His strength to do.

Isn't that a humbling thought.

Anyway, today was the day of the race, and the Lord continued to show me His grace, just like he did during my training.

The point of this post is not to brag about my accomplishments (sorry if it came off that way), but the point was to encourage all of you that as you learn to lean on God, because He is always faithful to hold you up. 

You can accomplish anything...

did you catch that?

ANYTHING through His strength and mercy.

Well, I hope someone found this helpful or encouraging.

Happy Belated St. Patty's Day Everyone!

The Start of Something New

Hello World!

I never, in a million years, would have thought that I would have myself a blog. 

Yet, here I am.

Who would have thought?

Anyway, for my first blog post, I just want to share my heart behind starting this blog. 

This is a place that I am going to share my feelings, frustrations, passions, and pursuits--both my good and my bad days/weeks/months (depending on how good I am at consistently posting). 

As I join the world of blogging, my hope is to be an encouragement to whoever reads them. This does not mean that I will give some schpeel about how you shouldn't worry because, " you're gonna get through this!" every time I post something. Well, I may end up doing that, but if you don't find encouragement in anything else I say, you can be encouraged by the fact that other people have struggles, hard days, or feel confused and alone too. You are NOT alone!!

My goal with this blog is to be honest with you all, as well as myself. 

"The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem."

I may not have struggled with substance abuse, but we all have something we need healing for, whether that is heartache, being overworked, depression, bad eating habits, you fill in the blank_________.

My point is, I'm gonna lay myself out there through this blog, and feel free to take it or leave it.

Just know that what you're gonna get from this blog is plain and simple, and frankly just a whole lot a' Holly.

Peace and Blessings to you all!

Yep. You guessed it. I'm the weirdo in the middle. Aren't you happy you just read my blog ;)