My life...as of late

I live!

Sorry for neglecting you, my dear blog, but it's been a little crazy up here in my life.

The quick and dirty of my life recently has been that I have been burning my candle on both ends.

I've been feeling a little like this:

This is an experience I have quite often, actually. Living in a house with 50 girls and always being available for watching a movie, talking, eating, midnight Winco runs (I heart Winco bulk section), or you name it, doesn't exactly provide a consistent everyday schedule that allows for restful life.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life.

I'm truly and fantastically enjoying every moment of this time of my life while at college. 

However, more recently, as you have probably deduced from my lack of blog posts, the candle I had been burning has suddenly vanished. All the sudden, I realized my candle has been completely burned up! I'm running purely on fumes, and weariness overcame me.

Sometime during this past Winter term, I began to develop a spirit of heaviness. I felt weary to my core and deep into my bones. My joy seemed to diminish. My liveliness vanished. Exhaustion enveloped me.

All of this came from a burden I picked up during this past term, and I refused to give entirely to the Lord. I kept walking the path of my life, and rather than letting Jesus carry me and take my burden, 

I just kept saying, 

"No, Lord. It's okay. I got this one."

As my beloved Savior was watching my steps become smaller and smaller, and my heart get heavier and heavier, He just kept whispering to me,

"You're weary Beloved, 

You don't need to carry that.

That burden isn't yours.

I already carried it for you.

Let my Love fill you again.

Let my Joy return to your heart.

Let my Peace reside in your life."

Finally, after months and months of weariness, and not listening, I heard the Lord speak to me.

He finally reached me through a beautiful devotional, Jesus Calling. The day was May 12---(read it if you can). What struck me most was this passage:

"Many of My precious children have fallen prey to burnout. A better description of their condition might be 'drainout.' Countless interactions with needy people have drained them, without their conscious awareness. you are among these weary ones, who are like wounded soldiers needing R&R. Take time to rest in the Love-Light of My Presence. I will gradually restore to you the energy that you have lost over the years."

This is EXACTLY how I was feeling. It was scary how 'right on' it was. I was weary, and I had had no idea for three months.

After recognizing this, I began by handing over (or attempting to hand over) this burden to Jesus. 

As soon as I began asking for help, He began to deliver!

Amazing is our Great Redeemer Jesus Christ!

Over this past week, my joy and energy have begun to return, and when I'm exhausted, I know it is only physically, because the Lord has taken my emotional and spiritual burden away from me.

My candle is still being burned at both ends, but now, the Lord is restoring my candle each and every day because I have begun asking Him to.  ("Ask and you shall receive"--amazing and TRUE!)

As I am refreshed anew each day, my candle is burning brighter, but it is not being consumed because I'm allowing Jesus to be my strength.

So those of you feeling weary, burdened, and completely drained out, hand your burdens over to Jesus. 

He's the only One who can take them.

It's hard to do, but it's worth it.